Geology Jokes

Gleaned From the Geology E-Mail List


 Two Geologists are walking across a granite outcrop one day. The first says
 to the second "Hey, this terrain is unmetamorphosed". Replies the second
 one, "No Schist".

 Q: What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
 A: Coca-Cola Clastic

  People at parties will *not* get these jokes.

  Thats ok, because "Igneous is bliss"

 Let's not forget Sherlock Holmes:

 Watson:  Holmes!  What kind of rock is this!

 Holmes:  Sedimentary, my dear Watson.

 Those are not gneiss jokes.

 Q: What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?

 A: Coca-Cola Clastic




 Ah, jokes for the "rock-it" scientists.

 In keeping with the spirit of layoffs and downsizing that permiate the oil
 industry I might add:  How many petroleum geologists does it take to screw
 in a lightbulb?

 Just one, but hundreds will apply for the job. ( Kurt Reisser)


 Yes, but at least we didn't take these "gneiss" jokes for "granite."

 How about some slogans:

 Geologists enjoy Nappes between thrusts!

 Ease up!  It's nodody's fault!
                 ^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^

 The Clinton Administration has renamed it Ronald Reagan's Fault.

 Don't put the karst before the horst.

If there at a campus party, they'll be too stoned.


During a heated discussion Opal screamed at Amber, telling her that not
only was she not a jewel but she wasn't even a mineral.

"Is that so," Amber snorted, stating flatly that Opal had no cleavage.

"Perhaps so," replied Opal, "but at least I'm not just organic ooze with
bugs - I'm pristine, white, and smooth."

"That's tuff," said Amber, secreting with rage.--- Jan Cecil




Just watch out for cleavage on your bedding.....


Ease up!  It's nodody's fault!


A geology phrase with innuendo from my days at Carleton College:

"Meet me behind the outcrop, honey, I'm a little boulder there".

So many beds, so little time


 Bonnie Dalzell writes: When I was a Paleontology student at Berkeley

 Our slogan was:
      "Help support the Laramide Revolution"
      "Help them throw off the oppressive overburden of North America!'
      Remember that this was the mid 1960's


"Reunite Gondwanaland" bumper stickers were available for a while


Francis Birch, Journal of Geophysical Research, v57, no2, 227-286, 1952:

"Unwary Readers should take warning that ordinary language undergoes
modification to a high-pressure form when applied to the interior of
the Earth; a few examples of equivalents follow:

 High-pressure form:              Ordinary meaning:
   certain                           dubious
   undoubtedly                       perhaps
   positive proof                    vague suggestion
   unanswerable argument             trivial objection
   pure iron                         incertain mixture of all the elements"

Elmer Bataitis



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