|
At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry
with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the
computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000
miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating,
"If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars
with the following characteristics:
- For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day
- Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a
new car.
- Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you
would just accept this, restart and drive on.
- Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.
- Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car 95" or
"Car NT." But then you would have to buy more seats.
- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five
times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent
of the roads.
- The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced
by a single "general car default" warning light.
- New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
- The airbag system would say "ARE YOU SURE?" before going off.
- Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the
key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
- GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand
McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them
nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the
car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Department.
- Every time GM introduced a new model car, buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same
manner as the old car.
- You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
|